The Hard Seasons....

There are moments in life when you look around and think to yourself, "Who have I become?". One minute you recognize that face in the mirror, the one who has it all together and grabs life by the horns and the next you don't even recognize the person staring back at you. 

Motherhood and life has changed me like that. 

I love my children with all of my heart and do not regret one moment of having them, bringing them into this life, or loving them. They are mine and I am theirs. 

But here I am, sitting here, wondering where in the world that woman who had it all together is. 

I know that mainly my troubles stem from neglecting my relationship with God. From there it's been a domino effect where everything else in my life, besides my children's well being, has been neglected. 

I'm not getting my lesson plans in or grades done on time and am arriving to work on time but not as I should and I definitely don't feel like I have been putting in the time and dedication that I should. 

While are bills are paid fully and timely, I feel like I haven't been doing what I should. I used to be better at budgeting and making sure to tithe my 10% to the church. I haven't tithed in a while and it shows in my finances. 

We no longer have our rabbits at home because I was not spending the time that I should giving them care. Thankfully our dog is an inside animal and can't be ignored. He is doing wonderfully and getting taken care of though I dearly wish we had the space in a vehicle to take him AND the kids to the dog park together. 

Relationships with friends are drifting. Our marriage relationship could be stronger as well.

I feel so overwhelmed at times. 

We can't even get it together to make it to church every Sunday like we used to. 

I know for a fact this is a literal attack of the enemy to keep us down. He doesn't want us to meet with other Christians, he wants to keep us in a pit of despair and loneliness.

He wants us to feel the pinch of finances, and to barely make ends meet. 

He wants me to fail at things I used to be so passionate for. 

But you know what. 

I have the God of angel armies on my side. 

This past weekend, we made it to church. 

The last couple of weeks, Travis has been able to make overtime and earn more money. 

A misstep between our mortgage company and flood insurance company was rectified. 

God is moving and showing Himself to be faithful to me, even in my moments of unfaithfulness to Him.

All I can do is take one day at a time to rectify my relationship with Christ, and what better time to do so than this holiday season.

I need to surround myself with people who will point me to Jesus and scripture. Those who will encourage me in my walk.

I need to be disciplined and read the word of God daily, and hide it in my heart.

I need to prioritize the right things in my life to help me to see the bigger picture and to find success in life.

Will this happen overnight? Of course not!

But I need to learn to allow myself some grace and realize that I can't do it all even though I want to.

But even if I don't allow myself the grace I need to, I am so glad that God gives His grace and mercy freely for those times that I don't feel as if I am enough. 

The Undisciplined Me....

Why hello there all! 

I must say that I have heavily neglected this blog for far too long. 

Isn't that just like me though. It takes discipline to stay on top of things such as reading my bible, keeping a good schedule, cleaning reliably, planning and sticking to outings. 

I find that I am lacking discipline all too much in my life. 

With, now, two children I'm finding myself needing to be more organized, disciplined and intentional in all that I do. 

I so don't want to be. 

I love being a spur of the moment kind of gal. The, "Hey, lets pack up and go do something!" kind of person. 

But I'm finding more and more that my current season of life is not conducive to that type of lifestyle. I need to plan things out carefully and live each day purposefully and intentionally. 

I read something recently while completing some reading for the bible/book study we are currently doing at church. The quote said, "When you kill time, remember that it has no resurrection" - A.W. Tozer

How true is that?!?!?

We constantly fill our lives up with meaningless fluff and our time dies. It can't come back. We can't get that coffee date back, or that play time with the kids. 

So how do we battle this enemy of time? 

By becoming disciplined.

We so often see discipline as a dirty word, one that has a negative connotation. However, it truly is not. It can be but the root of the word discipline means training that produces obedience or self control. We need to discipline our minds when it comes to the things we do, the movies we watch, the music we listen to and even the books we read. 

We are born sinners who are truly undisciplined but I believe that with some help from the big guy upstairs and a willing heart we can change ourselves to become disciplined. 

I plan on starting a checklist of things I need to get done throughout the day and see exactly where I could free up some time that I've been wasting to pursue things that really mean something. I mean, do I really need to spend that 10 min looking on my phone, browsing social media? Absolutely not. 

Hopefully I can hold myself accountable to this task, if not I'll ask others to help, having accountability partners is so important and helpful!

So with that, I'm signing off to look for new lessons for the coming week for my students.

Be Blessed!   

Waiting on Dreams

Have you ever felt like your life is in limbo?

Like something AMAZING is waiting just around the corner and you just can't wait for it to start! 

I have that feeling. 

It's a restless stirring in my heart to do more and be more for the kingdom of God. 

I want to inspire, I want to move, I want to rise up and help others to become all who God is calling them to  be!

Sometimes there's a problem with timing. I want those things for my life NOW while everything God is telling me is pointing to; not yet, one step at a time, you're not ready.

I asked God the other night before bed to give me direction, to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. 

He answered alright. 

That night I dreamed I was in labor with a new little one though my now little one hadn't aged he was still only 9 months old. I never really "went into labor" but after a traumatic repeat c-section I was put into recovery and not allowed to see my baby or nurse it. No one else wondered at it, and then they sent me home empty handed. 

I wasn't sad in the dream just horribly confused, was this not my child that I had birthed? Why was I not allowed to nourish them like my heart longed to? 

Upon waking I was like, "What the heck Lord?!?!"

As I meditated on the dream it became clear that I was not able to bond, nurture or raise this "infant" because I hadn't gone through the pregnancy process or labor. 

I realized that God was telling me that my dreams and desires would be like this babe if I wasn't patient, I am willing but the timing isn't right yet. 

I feel like He was saying the hard work is pregnancy and labor not just the birthing and after if I give birth to these dreams before the time comes it will be a traumatic "birth" for it, it will taken from me and I won't be able to nurture it the way it needs to be. 

He's encouraging me to pray more, and I'll see doors open for me to begin doing what I need to. That opportunities will arise as I meditate on His word.

Also I feel like He's asking me if I want these things for the right reasons. Is it to benefit me? Or Him? 

Of course I want to answer, "It's ALL for You God!" 

But is it really? 

I want what I do to be blessed by Him but before that can happen I need to make sure I do things for the right reasons. 

So until then, I'll wait. I'll pray. I'll read scripture. I'll meditate on Him.

I'm reminded of Isaiah 40:31, which is God's promises to those who wait....

Until He opens those doors and sees me ripe for the harvest I'll wait.

I hope this encourages you to wait upon His promises for you, that you would not be discouraged when God says, "Not yet.". 

When you're ready you will be a force to be reckoned with. 

~Be Blessed~

Amber

Stronger with Every Step

For those of you who are up to date with my love-hate relationship with running.

I'm back at it after a ridiculously long lay off from a knee injury.

I want to jump right in and overdo it again but I know that slow and steady is the way I'll get back to top form and be at my high mileage again. 

So far I have been adding half a mile a week. With that being said I was ecstatic when I hit 2 whole miles on Saturday! I feel that once I hit 3 miles I can begin to keep up and run with some of my favorite gals ever! 

It's so hard not to be bitter about how far I used to run versus how far I run now...2 miles seems measly now but I have to remember that......

And that I need to also......

I love how so many times we want to rush things instead of waiting on God's timing and we end up messing it up somehow. Much like my injury, if I don't keep running and doing a steady mileage increase I'll end up hurt again and back to square one or even permanently not able to run, the same thing goes for opportunities that God wants to give us. Things need to be in His time or we could end up permanently messing up an opportunity.

I feel myself getting stronger through ever step and every half mile I increase. Im doing half mile intervals because by the end of the half mile my knee is very warm and starts to get sore. I know that means that I need to slow down a bit, and if we listen to God He gives us that self same warning to slow down, take things easy and allow Him to strengthen us for the works ahead.  

So be strengthened, be strong and remember that it's worth it to be slow and steady and to do things right and to wait on God and His perfect timing.

I'm finding out that He's never, ever wrong or going to let me down and He will strengthen me for what's up ahead if I keep focused on Him and let go. Through my training I'm also learning to keep persevering because I'm stronger with every step.

Not Giving Up So Easily....

Most of my facebook friends will know that a couple of weeks ago Travis and I adopted the sweetest little 2 year old retired  greyhound named Jedi.....

We were ecstatic to get him and be able to love on him and share our lives with him! After a couple of week however, though we have grown to love him soo much, he has an issue being  alone :( while we are away at work. We have been working with our adoption coordinator and the president of It's a Grey Area Greyhound Adoption to help us help Jedi as much as possible. Brittaney and Lesley have been WONDERFUL in providing support for us throughout the whole process and we could not have asked for a better experience working with them. 

We have prayed and talked about it and are determined to try a few more things to make him comfortable living with us as an only child...we all realize though that in the end it may not work out and we ultimately need to do what is best for this beautiful baby boy. 

I mean come on! Look at that face! As if we could give up that easily!

At the same time that we are dealing with Jedi and his issues it brought forth something in my mind and made me feel soo convicted in my soul. 

How many times I started off with good intentions for my relationship with God but failed to push through when things became hard?

Let's face it....we all do it...for instance...I had the great idea that I was going to read the entire Bible this year. Yeap...the whole thing...in 1 year. So I started a little nifty plan on my Bible app on my phone and for a whole week I nailed it! Until....things started to get rough...flooding....getting Jedi and dealing with his issues, housework, work in general....it;s gotten to the point where I've let all these things get in my way of my relationship with God...not that I shouldn't deal with or do these things...but that I shouldn't give up so easily. 

Same thing with my prayer life....I've gotten so busy and had my eyes and mind on the things of this world more and more that I am frequently missing that quiet time with my Savior.

My relationship with God should be the number one most important thing in my life...and in my mind...I'd like to think that's so but there are many times where my actions are not aligning with my thoughts. 

And then I also think...what if God had given up on ME that easily....where would I be? Probably still down that path of destruction, not married to an amazing guy with wonderful godly friends. Where would WE ALL be if He gave up on ALL of us so easily? Noah might not have been spared during the great flood..and for certain He would not have given up His only Son for us....

So I guess the whole point of this is DO NOT GIVE UP SO EASILY, especially if it's something good in your life...like going back to school, writing a book, raising your children, in your prayer life....or even dealing with a pup with separation issues like us :)

Basically anything that pleases God and is good for us isn't always going to be easy but it'll be so worth it in the end. So here's to keeping on keeping on...and I'm off to press that little "Catch Me Up" button on my Bible reading plan, give my pup a kiss and get some one on one time with my Lord :)

He's Always by my Side....

On my way to work this morning I heard this song.......

The lyrics deliver a simple message, who shall we fear? Why do we fear when the God who commands armies of heavenly angels is on our side?

"no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD."

Isaiah 54:17 (NIV)

I'm pretty sure the promise made to us in Isaiah isn't just something to appease us, but rather something that we can hold onto. Our God is a promise keeping God and we shouldn't take His promises lightly but believe them to be true. For if we have the faith as small as mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Luke 17:6 (NIV)

I've found that reading and holding true to the promises of God is what gives me strength to face new challenges and ultimately faith when dealng with situations.

For instance, the last month or so I have been a medical mess! I have been dealing with hearing loss in my left ear and battling an infection. However, in spite of these things I know that I will be healed because God is the great physician and healer and He promises that I will be healed. One of the main roles of Jesus when He walked on earth was as a healer and I believe that He has a passion for it. Already I have been feeling MULTITUDES better and am healing nicely from the infection, nonbelievers would say this is due to man made antibiotics and doctors...but who created those two entities?

From where I'm standing penecillin and other antibiotics are a Godsend and definitely a product of intelligent design. Anywho.....I digress....

The point is we always have a God who loves us, who wants the best for us and who wants to protect us at our sides constantly. He's always there and knows every situation we are dealing with. AND He commands an army of heavenly beings who are a force to be reckoned with.

I'd say I feel pretty confident in my battle against the enemy...though he throws things at me left and right....the God of angel armies is always by my side.

~Amber

Revelations Begin.....

Welcome! Well...to old friends...welcome again! This is my second attempt at blogging as a couple of years ago I tried and failed miserably to keep up with it or to have a spark of creativity. Well because of a recent revelation (yes, that is the inspiration for the title :) ) I decided it was time to start again, especially since so much has happened and is happening in my life. I want to get it all down. My memory is not the best....as can be evidenced by the fact that I locked my keys in my truck not once, not twice, but THREE times in one month!

 I know what your thinking....this chick is CRAZY!

Well you would be too if you had my schedule! Ha! So anywho...I wanted to make sure I got the BIG things happening down and share with you some of the revelations that I experience along the way!

Before I go into big in depth blogs about my life...hopefully none which deter you from reading and hopefully you relate to and it can help you in your own life, I think it's time for an introduction!

Drum roll please!!!

Ok....it's not that serious.....My name is Amber and I'm a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher. I absolutely LOVE my subject matter and am thrilled to share it with high school students here in South Louisiana.

I run....yeap...I run...don't ask how fast....just know that I do and with some amazing ladies who keep me motivated and strong when I feel weak.

I am engaged to and am marrying the most amazing guy I ever could ask for! We may not agree all that comes up BUT we can agree to disagree!

Though I'm writing these revelations of life mainly for myself perhaps it will in turn help some of you who read it appreciate the things in your life a little more :)

And as a treat...here's the song that inspired my blog title!