Have you ever driven on a foggy morning or night and thought to yourself, I wish I could just break through it and SEE again!
That's what life has been like the last two years for me. Some call it PPD, some baby blues, and others just a part of life with two young kids.
Either way, I rebuke this fog over my life.
It's been clouding my judgement and causing me not to be able to see where my life is going or how I'll make it to my next destination.
I am finally coming out of that fog and it is like a breath of fresh air! As if I'm seeing the sunlight again for the first time in such a very long time.
I am starting to enjoy life again.
Now this doesn't mean I am out of the woods or that I won't ever become depressed again. But now that I know to recognize these things in my life I can better be prepared to handle them.
I've always been a hermit in life, I'd rather stay home and read a book than go to a party or whatnot, but now I'm finally starting to get out more and do things and it's exhilarating.
I've become confident taking two children to the store with me and not having extreme anxiety at the thought of it.
What's the difference? I think it's a combination of time and God's unending love and grace.
God didn't expect me to be ok or to act as I had previously. He just enveloped me into His embrace and loved me through it all. He waited on me to turn to Him and to accept His help.
I think that's what gets me the most, asking for help. I've never been one to ask for help even when struggling in school. So I definitely wasn't going to ask for help for my mental health from anyone.
But God, oh but God.
He waited so very patiently for me, my walls crumbled, I cried out and He listened. He helped, and He sent people to help me in the form of friends who took an interest and just asked, "How are you?" and prompting more than just an "I'm fine" and moving on. They saw through me and were able to have deep conversations that helped me on the path to healing.
Extremely few knew the struggle I was going through. The mental toll. Even though some may have thought I was going through something, they dismissed it, because they didn't understand it. And since they didn't understand it, or the fact that I wasn't presenting it in the normal way, it didn't exist to them.
I don't blame them. Mental illness and depression is so taboo in our society. It's rarely understood.
Mental health needs to be a priority in our lives.
If you or someone you know is dealing with depression or mental illness, talk.
It might not seem like much but having someone just listen, and not think that you're crazy, is one of the best therapies. If you need therapy, seek it. Take advantage of it.
Above all, seek God and lay in His promises. He has a plan and a purpose for you. He will heal you, and you are loved.
